Friday, October 29, 2010

What's your problem?

Do you ever feel like sometimes you are defined by your problems?  On any given day you could probably list all the challenges you are up against and the time spent looking for solutions.  On some days that percentage of time coping with problems may seem like most of the day.  But is this me?  Or you?  There may be times when this is exactly how it feels...that we are becoming a problem to be solved.  And especially if you suffer from depression or other mental illness. 

Going off on a tangent here but sometimes other people feel that they are somehow responsible for your problems and try to fix them for you.  At those times I always want to say, "I don't want to be fixed.  I just want you to listen."  Not everything falls into the fixable problem category.  Sometimes we have things in our life which we can't readily change but must find a way to cope.

Asking someone "What's your problem?" quite often is said in agitation and as a way to mean, "I don't really care what your problem is or the reason for your behavior...I just want you to snap out of it."  But when it is a genuine question often wonders if it truly is acceptable to go around talking about their problems.  I have seen people talk about the most excruciatingly painful  experiences and then take it all back with an apology for "complaining."  I think it is very hard in our "buck up" society to know when we can and cannot talk about our problems.

We tend to get irate at those who discuss their issues and problems to the expense of actually doing anything about them.  We can readily see this fault in another but when it comes to our own life,  it is very hard to know when one has talked enough and that it is time for action.

So the very issue of communicating about problems is problematic in itself.  But when we do face difficult challenges...who do we go to to talk?  Who do we trust?  And then how do we go about this discussion?

One of the reasons I have created this site is to make a safe place to talk about challenges, issues, and problems related to depression...and just life in general.

And so I conclude with the question in my title, "What's your problem?" but asked in a very sincere, open, and genuine way.  In other words...what pressing life issues would you like to talk about today?

I am going to make a good effort to get this blog going so we can have such discussions.  Thanks to everyone who has visited and/or commented so far.  I will try to get back to you with some comments.

Merely Me

1 comment:

  1. My problem is figuring out the balance between what I want to do and what my body will let me. And to not get angry or despair when my body says stop before I'm done.

    Love the blog. Aside from the great writing, the design is very restful.